Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Son Wants to Change His Name

Tonight my son Jack told me, "Mumma, I don't like my name. I'm not Jack. I want people to call me Mr. Jelly." At the time, he was sitting on the throne (we call the toilet the throne: everyone needs to do their duty to the porcelain God.) Jack wanted to hold hands for moral support while doing his particular duty, and naturally I was obliged to do my duty and help him. Though Jack is long past potty training, he occasionally asks me to accompany him to the potty (another one of the words it's okay to say when you're in a bathroom) to relieve the boredom of going to the throne alone.

I said, "Okay Jack, henceforth you shall be known as Mr. Jelly." He looked at me, laughed, and said, "No mumma, that doesn't sound like me. I'm not Mr. Jelly. I think I'm just Jack. I'm just so sad..."

"Why are you sad about being Jack? I like you're name. I named you Jack." Though I've always liked the name, it does sort of remind me of a soap opera character from As the World Turns. Maybe I was wrong to name my son after a soap actor. This must be karma coming back to punish me for being just that shallow.

"I'm not sad about being Jack. I'm sad that I'm all out of my transformer toothpaste. I reaallly miss my transformer toothpaste. And my spiderman toothbrush. Ohhh..." Jack said. He sounded like a man forlorn. How could life be so cruel? His name was Jack and he was all out of transformer toothpaste. What was he to do?

"Jack, your spiderman toothbrush fell into the toilet and your transformer toothpaste was empty. Can you survive this way? Can you be happy with kids crest, a dinosaur toothbrush, and your real name? Can you do this for Mumma?"

"Don't call me Jack. Call me Mr. Jelly."

4 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness. Too cute. Can I have your kids? Well, wait... I'm too young for that. Can you pause their growth until I'm old enough and then give them to me??

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  2. Thats.. Really sad )*=... Poor kid just wants his favorite toothpaste and tooth bruuush! Doesn't like change it seems? If he doesn't that's the same way I am >,<... I HATE CHANGE. But him not wanting to be called Jack is pretty sad.

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  3. Oh my gosh, this is simply adorable. Your kids are so precious. I love that you're using such personal stories. It makes it really relatable and so cute. I love itt <3

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